But I guess I should say something else than "OH MY GOD GUYS IT WAS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED FROM A MOVIE!", so I'll try to...
And guys, there will be spoilers.
Here's a picture of me and Thor by the way. I can't really decide wheter I like Thor or Iron Man the best, so I keep talking about both of them as if they're my future husband (although it seems I don't have to argue with as many of my friends if I go with Tony Stark... plus he's richer). Fangirl problems...
Right, the movie! I think maccadole described it best when she asked us how good it was on a scale of one to "fuck the scale it was flawless". It was flawless! Well, almost... I'll get to that.
First of all, I think all of the heroes get the perfect amount of screen time. Apparently they cut like 30 minutes of it, mostly centering around Captain America, and I'm totally okay with that being lifted, because who cares about him? No, kidding: seeing Captain America struggling with adapting to the modern world would've been nice to see (maybe in Captain America 2?), but I'm glad they cut out the part where he meets his love interest from his movie. It would only have been awkward.
Actually, watching it the second time I realized why they actually need Captain America. He kinda balances out the others in a nice way, because they're all kinda busy dealing with their own issues, and he doesn't really have a life with issues to deal with so he can just stay focused. He's also very... righteous, I think. Actually, not really the word I'm looking for, but it'll do: he cares for people.
Thor doesn't have much of a plot of his own, but on the other hand they are trying to save the world from his brother so what more does he need? Plus he is fucking awesome in every scene that he's in (the Hulk/Thor fight is probably my favourite...), so it's okay that he never gets like a subplot. And he's got longer hair in this movie: yet another reason why it's awesome.
And oh, Tony Stark, I love yoouu. I mean, I know he is trying to come off like he doesn't give a shit about anything and is just messing around with people, but then there's the little things, like him offering Coulson to take a weekend of to Portland (later shrugging it off as if he doesn't know anything about Coulson's love life, but he does), or the fact that he's the only one trying to get Bruce Banner to embrace the Hulk side of himself (and pointing out that maybe the Hulk is actually protecting Bruce rather than destroying his life).
Which brings me to: HULK. Jesus Christ, I did not expect to love him as much as I did! I mean, it's the Hulk, he gets angry and turns into a green ugly thing, why would I want to watch that? I can't tell if Hulk is more awesome than I think, or if it's just Mark Ruffalo (I guess I'll have to actually see the entire The Incredibly Hulk, and not just the forty minutes or so that I have seen). Possibly a combination of both: he is awesome! He does have the best action scenes, because they are all hilarious while still being great action. And it's just a nice little touch that Lou Ferrigno does the voice of the Hulk, because I think it shows that the movie really knows where it's coming from (if you see what I mean). (Just as much as I like that there seems to be no hard feelings about Ed Norton not reprising his role as him)
The only review I've read on this movie complained (or mentioned, at least) that Hawkeye and Black Widow are mostly background characters, but I'm not sure I think that's a bad thing. I mean, they have a LOT to compete with, but I still think they got a good amount of screentime, and I love how their entire relationship was handled. It's totally there if you ship them (I kinda do), but if you don't you can overlook it. Whatever the case, it's obvious they have a history and that they care a lot about each other, but they are also ready to kick some fucking ass when needed to. And we do need them too.
Speaking of which: I LOVE THE ROMANCE IN THIS MOVIE. Or, you know, the lack off! Yes, we've got Pepper and Tony being canon and all, which is AMAZING (because I love them, okay?), but it's not a big thing. We don't end up with anyone having to save their love interest (except for the girl that totally wants to bang Captain America in the end, but I think he could use a good fuck, so that's okay), and it's just so nice. As Scarlett Johansson said, "we don't have time for romance, we're busy avenging stuff". Love it.
In the review I mentioned earlier Loki was described as a "whiny deputy principle from Hogwarts", which I think is hilarious, but inaccurate. I liked Loki much better as a villain this time around, because he's so obviously crazy. He talks about the events in Thor and you're just sitting there going "wait, that's not what happened", and then you realize that he really does believe so. And you can kinda see why he's doing all these things then. So, much better this time around. And did you see his hair? I mean, come on, if the only improvement made to his character this time around was longer hair, I'd be fine with it.
So what didn't I like about this movie? There's really only one thing (and it's not the death of a certain character, even though I kinda hated that): it doesn't pass The Bechdel Test. There are three named female characters in this movie: Black Widow (aka Natascha Romanoff, so she's got two names to even out the females with no name), agent Maria Hill (aka Robin Scherbatsky, because we all know that she is secretely an agent), and Pepper Potts, and they never interact with each other. Agent Hill and Black Widow are in the same scenes together (a few times, I think), but they never actually say a word to each other, and I'm a little disappointed by that. Come on, Joss, aren't you supposed to be great at writing female characters? Because they are awesome, but I'd like to see them hang out with other women, and not just be Honorary Guys.
But that is my one complaint. It's still a great movie where all the characters (female or not) are kick-ass, the action is awesome (I don't get why people didn't like the end fight, but I guess I'm just easily entertained when it comes to action), where every other line is hilarious, and it's pretty much just the best thing since sliced bread (and sliced bread is pretty fucking great).
As soon as the DVD comes out I'm gonna have an epic Avengers maraton and just watch all the movies. I'll be warming up tomorrow with an Iron Man-night, before I try to find someone to go see Avengers with me a third time.